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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28992312">Liquid Courage</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowTrinkets/pseuds/CrowTrinkets'>CrowTrinkets</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Arcana (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>After Asras upright ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gender-Neutral Apprentice (The Arcana), Nonbinary Apprentice (The Arcana), Red Plague (The Arcana), The Lazaret (The Arcana), the apprentice and julian are friends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:14:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28992312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowTrinkets/pseuds/CrowTrinkets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Apprentice is alone after Asra leaves for a trip, they decide to have Julian over for a drink as friends. However, one bottle of wine later and some of their relationship with Julian before their death is revealed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana), Apprentice/Julian Devorak, Julian Devorak/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Liquid Courage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Takes place after the plot and after Asra's upright ending. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The air was warm and slightly muggy as Julian and I walked from the castle to my shop. Asra was away to aid the locals of Nopal with a small issue. He was adamant that I go with him but by the time we would return our rent would be due. I insisted on staying and running the shop so we avoid eviction. He was sad to leave on another journey without me but responsibility comes first, and besides, he would only be gone a week at most. By the fourth day, I started to grow antsy being in the shop all day and decided to pay Asra's parents and Nadia a visit. I baked some cookies and the four of us had tea together, Julian joined as well because the four of them are still working on the new clean water system for Vesuvia. </p>
<p>It was a little awkward when we had to explain to everyone my um... Predicament regarding my lost memories. Asra's parents were especially shocked when they learned their son made such a drastic deal with the Arcana. But in the end, we settled on the fact that they also made deals of their own in a sense, they still treat me as family and are kind but I can't shake the feeling that they're a little unnerved by my circumstances. Muriel, Nadia, and Julien did not seem especially surprised by the news, I mean they all attended the ritual as well. However Julian was especially quiet for that conversation but I never bothered to ask him about it. I figured any talk of the plague makes Julian uncomfortable. </p>
<p>After the masquerade we all started to hang out as friends, I especially became close with Portia and Julian. I would visit Portia on occasion so we could talk about magic and she could show me her progress, Julian would be there as well and sometimes we'd all have dinner together. Portia and I both loved to tease Julian with the fact that he finds magic weird. "A science man" is what he called himself, I protested with why can't one be both a science and magic person. He winced a little at that comment and changed the subject. I again did not make attempts to pry into why he reacted as he did. I would like to think Julian and I are close, I understand he and Asra had a past that I know nothing about, but it doesn't bother me. What they had was in the past and I have no say in the decisions they made back then. Especially because I was well.. Dead.</p>
<p>Julian hummed idly beside me as we walked through Center City. I wanted to invite everyone to my shop for drinks, mostly because I could not bear another night alone in the shop. However Julian convinced me to leave Portia and Nadia, something about "letting the lovers be." I took his suggestion and invited him alone. I would like to become closer with Julian. On occasion we have gone to the theater together, Asra staying behind claiming if he wanted to watch overdramatized actors wailing he would just pay Julian a visit. But I find enjoyment in the arts, Julian's critiques however always take the cake. Who knew he would be so critical of another actor's method. I chuckle to myself remembering how heated he could get sometimes.</p>
<p>"Something amusing, MC?" Julian leans forward to look me in the eyes. His hands in his pockets.</p>
<p>"Oh nothing, I was just remembering the time you heckled that poor actor," I stifle my laugh recalling the horror in the actor's face.</p>
<p>"Oh, he deserved it! His accent was terrible! And he took too many breathes between speaking it made the play much less enjoyable," Julian crosses his arms seeming visibly agitated. We finally approach the shop and I unbind the spell as well as unlock the front door, allowing Julian in first so I can lock up behind us. Julian looks about the shop with a cautious curiosity. </p>
<p>"Careful Julian, you may insult the spirits with all your staring. Julian freezes, his one eye going wide as dinner plates as his gaze shifts to the floor. I have to cover my mouth to stop my laugh from escaping.</p>
<p>"I'm only kidding, why don't we go upstairs," Julian gives a quick nod and is making his way upstairs after a few quick strides. I skip happily to the kitchenette and search the cupboards. There's a bottle of wine here somewhere I just know it. Asra and I don’t drink often but we always keep something handy. I find a nearly full bottle of white wine and grab two glasses.</p>
<p>"This is no salty bitters Julian but I think it will suffice," I turn towards Julian who is awkwardly positioning himself on the small table in the corner. Asra and I don’t need much room but Julian's long lanky figure looks awkward, he settles on resting his legs on the chair next to him. Taking up two of the mismatched chairs. I place the bottle and glasses down and go to prepare a snack for us to munch on. As I cut up some fruit, Julian sits silently occasionally adjusting his large frame in his seat. I speak without thinking.</p>
<p>"Does it make you uncomfortable to be back here?" I see Julian tense from the corner of my eye. Damn, I just wanted to fill the silence not pry into Julian's subconscious thoughts. I turn around knife still in hand, thinking of a quick way to remedy my comment. "Because the last time we both were here together I threw a bottle at you…. Sorry for that by the way," I wince at my own comment.</p>
<p>"Oh yes, no apology needed, a strange man breaks into your shop, I can understand the hostility," Julian gives a weak smile and looks down. </p>
<p>"Why don’t you pour our glasses while I continue with the snacks?" I suggest. With a nod from Julian, I turn back around cutting the fruit and opening a tin of crackers. Placing the platter on the table I sit on the only available chair while Julian hands me my drink. I take a sip and feel the drink go down my throat and its telltale burn following it. For a while we both sit in silence, taking sips and eating apple slices and crackers in between. I did not expect this evening to be so… so awkward. When Julian and I hang out it's usually not this quiet. Well maybe because we're either walking in the busy streets talking about the show we are about to see, sitting in the show, and then walking back talking about the show we just saw. I quickly think of a topic before we spend the whole night in silence.</p>
<p>"So Julian," he stops mid-sip, glancing at me. "Why don’t you tell me about the water reroute project," Water reroute?! We were just talking about that at the palace!</p>
<p>"Well considering we just talked about that with the Countess I do not have any new information for you," Julian states with a wave of his hand.</p>
<p>"Right right, silly me, well um…" I ponder for a moment. "why don't you tell me about some of the trips you've taken? Asra and I have traveled a little but definitely not as much as you," With that Julian gives me his usual toothy grin and starts off on a story about his time on a spice ship. Satisfied that the silence is being filled I sit comfortably and continue with my drink.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>I don't know how many hours it's been since Julian and I first arrived back at my shop but the wine bottle is now empty, I feel warm and dizzy, but just the right amount that I can still walk and make rational decisions. Almost.</p>
<p>"Julian, we're friends right?" my words come out and I try my hardest not to slur. Julian, whose head is now laying on the table, gives me a nod. "Best friends?" It slips out. Julian sits up and gives me a confused stare.</p>
<p>"Well, I would imagine Asra has that honor?" He starts. I shake my hand in the air.</p>
<p>"No…. no, I mean yes, but Asra is my partner. I mean like…. In the way, Asra and Muriel are… or me and Portia? I would say you and I are as close as that?" Julian thinks for a second and nods with a smile.</p>
<p>"Then yes, I couldn't ask for a better friend who is just as appreciative of the arts as I am," Julian raises his glass so we can toast, although we have nothing to drink so we both take a bite of the leftover cheese on our platter.</p>
<p>"Then can I ask you something… personal?" I trace the wood grain of the table with my fingers, trying to distract myself from the conversation I started.</p>
<p>"Ask away my dear friend," Julian pops another slice of apple in his mouth.</p>
<p>"Were we friends before I died? I know you and Asra were-" I'm interrupted by the sound of Julian coughing on the apple he just ate. Spitting it into a napkin while I stumble to grab him some water. I hand him the water and he quickly drinks it. I grab myself some as well, maybe I drank a little too much. I sit back down taking sips of my own as Julian finishes off his glass. Putting it down with an exasperated gasp. "I'm sorry I guess that was a little too personal," I try to joke. But the concern in my voice is obvious.</p>
<p>"No no, I guess you have the right to know, I mean it is your past," Julian says with a shrug. His usual demeanor has dissipated as he stares forlornly out the window. Looking for something I can't see. After a minute Julian meets my eyes once again, with a nod he sits back in his chair, legs stretching out onto the other chair once again.</p>
<p>"Yes, we knew each other. You were my apprentice at my clinic, during the plague. Ah, I'll never forget that day, it was a long day at the clinic, well they were always long but this one especially. I was just about to head home until an unfamiliar magician stormed in." Julian lets out a chuckle as he recounts the memory. "Your demeanor was so strong and determined, but then you took one look at me and all that slipped away, you shyly approached me and said, 'Hello sir, I would like to apprentice under you and become a doctor, if you will have me?'" Julian lets out a barking laugh, throwing his head back after impersonating me. I roll my eyes but laugh with him. Unfamiliar with the memory, but it seems I haven’t changed much.</p>
<p>"Did I really ask you like that?" I give Julian a pointed look.</p>
<p>"Well maybe not as dramatized as I made it, but yes. You asked and I gladly agreed. You told me you wanted to cure the plague and you figured a magician doctor would be of great assistance," Julian's smile is warm but his eye evokes sadness. </p>
<p>"Wait, I thought you said someone couldn't be a magic and science person," </p>
<p>"I said the same thing back then but you were so determined, I couldn't say no to that innocent face as well," he lets out a small chuckle but trails off. Mumbling something I can't fully hear, but I think I get the phrase "shouldn't have" at the end. I don't comment, allowing Julian to continue his story. The knit-in his brows growing tighter as he goes on.</p>
<p>"You worked very hard, studying as much as possible and aiding me in house calls, eventually you got good enough that you didn’t need me to help you anymore. Taking your own house calls. We both worked long hours and eventually we almost never saw each other. Only on occasion when you needed me to sign off on death certificates for patients who had no one to claim them. And even then there were so many bodies that they weren't required anymore," Julian stops for a second. The atmosphere of the room begins to grow heavy, the single candle on the table dances reflecting on Julian's solemn features. He lets out a sigh refusing to meet my eyes.</p>
<p>"Eventually I became so busy with my work, trying to find the cure that we stopped speaking. When we first started working together we would sometimes go to the Rowdy Raven to lift our spirits but even then I was too busy for you. It wasn't until you were sent to the Lazaret that I knew what happened." A shiver runs up my spine at the mention of the Lazaret. I remember the flashes of memories I experienced when I went there with Asra. I remember the pain and the sick aura that coated me when I was about to be cremated. Julian finally meets my gaze and reaches for my hand, I take it,  gripping his leather-clad palm. </p>
<p>"I am so, so very sorry MC," Julian grips my palm with a squeeze, his eye grows misty as he looks into mine. "If I had never agreed to take you in as my apprentice this never would have happened or I would have at least been able to care for you as a patient," before Julian continues I rise from my seat approaching him and pulling him into a tight hug while he still sits in his chair. He lets out a quiet squawk but then relaxes in my arms, wrapping his around my back hugging me back.</p>
<p>"Don't you dare apologize, Julian, I may not remember what my life was like before but I know that I wanted to help. I wanted to help and you gave me that chance. But I chose my fate, I knew the risks of what could happen to me and I still chose that path. You are a dedicated and hard-working doctor, it wasn't your fault Julian," I hold Julian tightly, his head resting on my shoulder, he lets out a stifled cry. I feel tears run down my own face but I stay quiet allowing Julian to get his emotions out. For a while we just stay in place, crying and holding onto each other for dear life. </p>
<p>After a bit we pull apart, rubbing our eyes dry, I keep an arm on Julian's shoulder. For a second we glance at each other and chuckle at the other's red puffy appearance. I grab some tissues and refill our cups for the both of us and we each clean our faces and drink water to rehydrate. I sit back down finishing my glass and look back at Julian who is readjusting his patch after wiping his other eye dry.</p>
<p>"Besides, if I never became your apprentice, we never would have become friends," I give him a shy smile.</p>
<p>"Ah ah," Julian raises his glass to toast me again, to which I raise mine "Best friends," he says with a toast. I laugh at his joke to my comment earlier and clink our glasses together. We down our cups of water acting like its salty bitters and we're at the Rowdy Raven.</p>
<p>Once again the two of us fall into silence. It’s a comfortable silence but I can't help the question brewing in my mind.</p>
<p>“Did I have a bird mask? Like yours?” To that question, Julian cracks a smile. He lets out a sigh.</p>
<p>“Heh, you did actually, and I uh… I may have kept it,” a flush crawls up Julian’s face at that last comment. I sit up.</p>
<p>“You did?” </p>
<p>“I am always one for nostalgia. After you, well yknow, I was tasked with clearing your desk and sending them to your home. Your mask was left on your chair and I couldn’t let such good craftsmanship go to waste,” Julian stands placing his cup down, and extends a hand towards me. “Would you like to see it again?” his sly smile and waggling eyebrows are so hard to say no to. Not that I would though, it would be nice to see an item from my past. With a nod, I grab his hand and we make our way downstairs and out of the shop. </p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>The moon is high in the sky and Julian and I make our way in the south end. He says his belongings are all at a friend's house but won't tell me their name. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was keeping it a secret for dramatic effect or if they were a fugitive. I practically have to jog to keep up with Julian until we finally reach our destination. A comically small house with a fittingly small door. But Julian walks past the door and goes around to the side. </p>
<p>“Wait here, uh this may look suspicious but just trust me,” before I can say anything Julian starts climbing into the window of the home. Cursing as glass bottles get knocked over when he finally makes it inside. I wait for a few minutes, hearing rustling and Julian's constant commentary. I finally hear an ‘aha!’ before Julian pokes his head through the window again making his way back out. He approaches me, hands behind his back. “Now this is a treasure that belongs to a dear friend of mine, do handle it with care,” with a wink (I think) Julian pulls a bird mask from behind and puts it into my waiting hands. I nearly gasp when I see it. It looks almost exactly like Julian’s but rather than red glass covering the eyes, it's transparent, devoid of any color. I turn it in my hands stroking the long beak. It’s cold to the touch and definitely finely crafted as Julian stated. My fingers trace the circular eyes.</p>
<p>“You replaced the red with a less intimidating color, you said it scared the children and you wanted them to at least be able to see a friendly pair of eyes behind the scary bird mask,” Julian's voice is low but full of nostalgia. I turn the mask around and pull it onto my head, fixing it so it sits properly on my face. I can smell dried lavender and sage in the beak. I look up at Julian who looks at me slightly astonished, but it soon turns to a smile.</p>
<p>“My you look as good in it now as you did then,” with a laugh I remove the mask.</p>
<p>“Where’s yours?” I look up at him. </p>
<p>“Ah that, I uh,” he lets out a nervous chuckle “I threw it in the aqueduct,” I give him a surprised look to which he shrugs. “At the time I felt hopeless and like my life was meaningless, I thought I was going to be hanged. But looking back on it, I just wanted to put my past behind me, and be a better person,” I place my hand on Julian's arm, he looks at where I made contact and then meets my eyes.</p>
<p>“You are a good person Julian,” He gives me a smile, but frowns when he looks at the mask once again, it must be a reminder of the horrors he faced during the plague. An idea strikes in me. I look around the area, trying to find a good place. We’re near the edge of town so it shouldn’t be hard to find. I walk towards the waterway with Julian following. I crane my arm back, mask in hand, Julian tries to protest but before he can do anything I throw the mask in the aqueduct. It lands with a splash. He looks out into the water, shock plastered on his face.</p>
<p>“Looks like you’re not the only one for theatrics Dr. Devorak,” I nudge him with my elbow. Julian lets out a laugh and slings his arm around my shoulder.</p>
<p>“How about a pint at the Raven then, let these former plague doctors blow off some steam?” He says with a grin. I nod and we head over together.</p>
<p>—-<br/>I am awoken to someone gently shaking my shoulder and calling my name. I let out a grunt and realize I have a pounding headache. I slowly open my eyes and see Asra above me.</p>
<p>“Asra, you’re home early,” I whisper, shielding my eyes from the incoming sun.</p>
<p>“And you’re asleep on the floor, Ilya is also in our bed?” He gives me his usual mischievous smile. I slowly sit up massaging my temple, swaying slightly as I feel the alcohol looming in my system, I look over at Julian, who is in fact sleeping in our bed while I am on the floor with a single blanket and one of our many decorative pillows. I try to recount what happened last night. Julian and I went to the Raven, we drank quite a bit, dancing and singing till the late hours, and then we came back to the shop because Julian left his aqueduct plans here. But Julian was way too drunk to go back to the palace so I insisted he sleep here. He tried to take the floor but he was too drunk to resist as I pushed him into mine and Asra’s bed, taking the floor so my guest could sleep comfortably. I turn back to Asra.</p>
<p>"Salty Bitters," I grunt out, rubbing my head, my voice is hoarse, probably from the amount of singing I did last night. Asra gives me a knowing smile and kisses my forehead. </p>
<p>"How about I get you some tea to help with your head and throat?" I give him a nod as he helps me to the table, blanket wrapped around my shoulders. As Asra fills the pot with water he looks over his shoulder at me. "Did you two have fun?" I glance over at Julian who is a tangled mess of blankets, watching his chest rise and fall. I remember the moments we shared together and the laughs we had the night before. Looking back at Asra who is now facing me I give him a smile. My voice comes out rough and raspy but I don't mind.</p>
<p>"Yes, yes we did,"</p>
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